Blue Algae Creative

words...

2012-01-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

I use to be heavily into collecting quotes, from thnkers, artists, movies, books, even things I heard the people I knew say. I don't collect anything anymore because I don't like the obsessive feeling that comes over me when I do... but I still love quotes... words of wisdom... little pieces of art spun from a collection of carefully chosen words. One that has stuck with me with remarkable clarity is this:

"...in the Arctic half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my soul and memories and the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River and a four-count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise. Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters. " from the book, A River Runs Through It, by Norman Macclean

The same image without the text written on it is a whole different experience. I like them both.

one's value

2012-01-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

Recently I was faced with the challenging and emotional experience of being told that my work was not worth two dollars more than what that person had been paying for it. Either way, it is a bargain for them, and while they seemed happy with my work, they weren't willing to pay for the quality they were enjoying.

I felt used, under valued, disrespected, and demeaned. Then I began to question my own value, which is a terrible place to go, to take yourself.

And then... I was bolstered by THIS.

Thank you Design Sponge & Regina Morrison. You reminded me to have faith in myself and to not sell myself short, for myself, and for the rest of the small creative / handmade business community.

2012-01-13T16:35:00.000-08:00

Some more loveliness from Friends with the Forest on Etsy

2012-01-10T10:50:00.000-08:00

I am proud and excited to share with you the work of Ashley Pahl. Ashley makes handcrafted papercut and block printed stationery, and handmade paper goodies.

Ashley on Etsy:

Every item in my shop is handmade by me in a cozy home studio in Michigan. Paper arts are my passion, but I write about my love for all things handmade at Indie Pretty Projects.

● My shop: AshleyPahl.etsy.com
● My other shop: NatureParty.etsy.com
● Blog: http://IndiePrettyProjects.com
● Website: http://AshleyPahl.com
● Facebook: facebook.com/AshleyPaperArt
● Twitter: @AshleyPahl

When I'm not crafting or blogging, I spend most of my time with my toddler girls. I love reading, coffee, baking, trees, camping, and climbing sand dunes. I have a high interest in urban gardening and sustainability; independent lifestyles, DIY projects, and "indiepreneurship. "

Pig Will & Pig Won't.

2012-01-02T22:26:00.000-08:00

follow the rules, or make them up as you go...?

Sometimes it kind of kills me that the childhood clarity of right and wrong tends to fade and distort as we get older. Morality is a socially constructed phenomena, owing nothing to nature itself, except perhaps inklings. When a pack of wolves organizes itself around an alpha, there is law and order there, but nothing is absolute.Often in animal society, alphas are overthrown.

So, we human individuals decide what laws, morays, and ethical codes to abide by, and which are... flexible. (Sure we vote on matters of law and contruct a system to punish the violators, but regardless, we all decide, everyday, as individuals, in individual circumstances, which laws we will abide and which we won't.)

There can be this intense irritability that comes from realizing that by following the rules, where others do not, we are put at a disadvantage. And maybe that irritability comes from the insecurity we feel when we realize how much choice is involved in keeping any kind of order, and knowing that it could all come crashing down if too many people realize that they can simply choose to be amoral.

Plus, we humans hate it when something feels unfair. (I don't know where we ever got the idea that things aught to be fair, or could be. I guess it's good for civilization and the development for human compassion that we did get the idea... but where it came from I've no earthy idea.) And nothing feels more unfair than being set back because you follow the rules and realizing others makes strides by breaking them.

These are all the things I am telling myself as I ponder my frustration with the copious amounts of copyright violation and general rule breaking going on out there in our blogging / creative sharing community. I'm not going to finger point or go into great detail about the problem. Other's have sparked great discussions by doing so and I can't imagine I might improve upon them. And I also don't want to overstate the issue. For the most part this creative community has been a wonderful experience and does far greater good than bad, in my eyes.

I also don't wish to present myself as one who has been pristinely virginal in this struggle. I've violated copyright. I have displayed others' work on my blog without their permission. I stopped quite a while ago, and have been making strides not to do it again, even by accident or oversight. I've even been angrily called upon to remove such content by the content's creator. I didn't blame him. I admitted my poor judgement and did everything he asked of me. I don't think he ever forgave me though, and I understand that too.

It's easy to see how unnerving it can be to follow the rules diligently, passionately, to one's own detriment even, and then to see others treat such guidelines as wisps of indiscriminate whim. I'm there now too.

On Pinterest you are not suppose to self promote. I don't. Others do. It kills me. What to do. Nothing really. Call them out? But I'm not the morality police. Break the rules myself? If he did it so can I? No. I'll not be a sheep led over a ledge and call out that I was only falling in line. I have more pride than that. But, it's tempting to skirt the rules because it would be a great place to introduce my work. And, I'm trying to be more self possessed, more responsible for my own creative destiny. That's not easy for me, to put my work in front of others' faces. But, I'm doing it. Except on Pinterest, where I'm not suppose to, but others do. Maddening.

evidence of the "doing it..."

2011-12-29T10:12:00.000-08:00

I have to thank those of you who have read my last post, entitled "doing it" and didn't comment on the double entendre. You're classy folks I tell ya. I, on the other hand, have been worn down to the crude basics of humor by many years with a husband who doesn't quite burst out with, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!" but does snicker and send me that look from across the room. And, I have to say, I'm surprised I didn't catch it myself. I suppose I was in blog mode, and I guess I try to rise above my own nature a bit here... which is really silly. I am what I am and that's all she wrote folks... or all she "said" as the case may be.

I wanted to share with you some of the first product shots I've done for one of my "freebie" clients. This is the IT I have been doing:

The shop is called Friends with the Forest. The work at home mom makes these lovely little hand stamped silver pieces. I love the simple elegance and the clearly handmade feel. I especially love the last necklace down there at the bottom... "Soul Sisters" What a beautiful take on the traditional best friend necklace. These are the only pieces I've shot so far but more are on the way. And you can find a lot more in her shop as well.

doing it...

2011-12-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

It is so damn easy for me to look at the micro world around me and think, "nothing is happening. Why is nothing happening?" Then, occasionally, I realize, I've not been doing anything but what I've already been doing. If I don't change what I do, why would anything that happens around me change.

It's elemental, but often missed I think.

But, now, I'm kind of in a little bit of that.... "LOOK!! Look! I'm doing it!!" stage.

Held against the successes and feats of woman through history, or even those in my cosmic back yard, it's really quite puny. But I did something different, and something different happened, and I'm so happy.

with much love and appreciation for you dear reader...

2011-12-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

and in case I don't get a chance before very soon...

in great sincerity,

from my heart to yours.

freebie

2011-12-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

I have to say that I've really caught the product photography bug and I just don't want to stop. Wouldn't that be a fun way to make a living? But, while I have lots of objects to use as props, I don't have much by way of product type objects to practice with and that makes the development a portfolio limited and frustrating.

Solution?

I am offering free product photography in my Etsy shop. (Etsy requires you to at least charge $0.20 but that's pretty much free.) I've had one taker already and I'm so excited to get her products in the mail so I can start shooting.

Anyone else out there want to take advantage of this opportunity? Dude!!! It's free!! (my son is very into the word 'dude' right now and I find it floating around my mind a lot lately too.)

on trying...

2011-12-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

I made this photo years ago, 2008 I think. I was still working with a point and shoot, at 4 megapixels. It's an image that has always stayed with me, popping up in my mind when I needed to remember to keep going, on pure faith if necessary. Lately, it's been my full on montra.

I've been putting myself out there... or rather my work, which really is so much a part of me that it might as well be me (but I try not to get that attached). I've been scouring Craigslist for local opportunities to show my work, at cafes and whatnot, and for freelance creative gigs. I've talked with a few people and gotten some positive feedback but no concrete plans as of yet. I've also been promoting my Etsy store much more. I've been taking Photo classes here and there to supplement my self taught, swiss cheese, base of knowledge. I've been advertising myself as a photographer (instead of a thingist..) while feeling fairly valid in doing so. I've been pushing myself and it's not easy.

In fact, there are days when my self confidence, my self worth, begin to falter, and I take my lack of success as a direct and irrefutable indicator of the value of what I do. Then, I shake that off and tell myself, "don't give in to doubt!!" I tuck my head metaphorically and charge down the field toward that end zone of achievement. I may never leave the field, I know, but it feels so much better to run than I ever thought it would. It feels good to keep going, to break those attempts at tackles which slow me down, and to keep pushing for a few more inches, a few more yards. I may fail 100% of the time, but by the time the play clock runs down, I will know I tried, played a good game, and didn't just stand on the sideline wondering what I might have done.

It's all a big cliché, I realize. But I think that's only because its so common for so many of us sensitive, intuitive, creative people to shy away from ringing our own bells. We aren't gregarious like many successful people are. We do what we do, quietly, because it's imperative to our being that we do it. And then we doubt that others will see what our soul sought to depict, and we keep it to ourselves, to varying degrees. But, what I have learned is that if we don't give others the opportunity to see our work they can't even begin to respond to it. They can't love (or hate) it if they never know it. The fear is that they will shrug and walk away.

What I'm learning now is that risking the brutality of that experience is worth not having to wonder what if...

oops...and learning...

2011-12-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

If you have been here lately and now feel like something is missing, you are very observant. By request of Nichole's Classes I have removed content from my blog that illustrates some of what I have been learning in her "table top photography" class.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me, but it didn't, that sharing class material would be undermining their ability to continue to offer the class in exchange for money.

In all honesty I didn't feel I was revealing much detail and was really only offering up an appetizer for other's who'd not heard of her classes. There is much to be learned from Nichole, and even if you did see my earlier posts, they really only skimmed the surface of what she has to teach. I highly recommend the experience of not only being instructed by very good photographer, but also having specific critiques given for your photographs, and having at least two live chat session in which to pick Nichole's brain about all things photography. It has been a great experience for me personally (I plan to take more of her online classes) and one that could never be replicated by a few words in a blog post.

So, I apologize to "Nichole's Classes" for my error in judgement and continue to learn to be a better blogger from here on out.

less is more

2011-12-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

I'm coming to realize that I have waaaaaaaay too many creative interests. My wonderful husband, who wants me to have everything, is hesitant to agree. But I see it. I love all the amazing things I see others doing out there and it all makes me want to try it too. But, ultimately, I think that it dilutes my creative energy, and most definitely my creative time & space. So, I'm trying to decide what to let go of.

Photography stays. Digital art stays. Paper, ink, pencil, and eraser stay. Still life props stay. Fabric stays (hobby). Yarn goes.

Um... So, I'm keeping everything but yarn. Okay, that's one drawer emptied. Shit.

New Works in the Shop

2011-11-25T17:36:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite things to do when adding new work to my Etsy Shop is to find a quote which includes some of the title of the work in it and reflects, to some degree, the feel or tone of the work. Usually I go to Brainy Quote for this. They have such a rich, deep catalog.

Each of these Photographic Collages includes six images arranged to compliment each other and reflect a tone or specific senes. They are arranged on a 8X10" piece of photographic paper, bordered in white, and labeled in the lower right corner with their titles. I hope you like them.

The beauty of the world, which is so soon to perish, has two edges,

one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

Virginia Woolf

Conclave means, loosely, a meeting

"A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi"

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything

better.

Albert Einstein

Cold is the water

It freezes your already cold mind

Already cold, cold mind

And death is at your doorstep

And it will steal your innocence

But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this

And you are not alone in this

As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand

Hold your hand

Mumford and Sons

Toad talked big about all he was going to do in the days to come,

while stars grew fuller and larger all around them, and a yellow

moon, appearing suddenly and silently from nowhere in particular,

came to keep them company and listen to their talk.

Kenneth Grahame

Hi. I'm a thingist.

2011-11-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

I struggle so often to get the words out... "I'm a photographer."

I do say them, however, because saying, "I am an artist," when folks ask me what I do other than raise my son, is fraught with so much baggage that it's ultimately meaningless or disparaging in some cases.

The word "Art" seems to be applied so liberally that it's like saying "thing".

I'm a thingist. Yeah. Ok.

But saying I'm a photographer seems slightly inaccurate too. I use a camera to capture images and those images are used to produce my art. Photoshop is also a primary tool.

Does using a camera automatically make me a photographer? If that is the case then wouldn't anyone who ever snapped a photo be a photographer? (This is the artist debate all over again) If anyone who ever snapped a photo is a photographer then calling the likes of Dorothea Lang, and Edward Weston photographers be meaningless, just like calling Andrew Wyth, Jasper Johns, and Georgia O'Keefe mere artists can see to dilute thier stature (particularly when we feel free to call our very competent mechanic or dentist an artist)?

If I make art using a camera does that make me a photographer? Does it matter that my images are much more dependent on the work I do in photoshop than what I do with a camera? And regardless of whether what I produce is art (a question without an answer in my opinion), when is anyone a photographer? How good do you need to be? And if you need to be xyz good, how do you know if you are that good.

All of this comes from the fact that I admire so many photographers out there, and realize that I feel guilt when I proclaim to those I'm just meeting that I too am in their company. I'm not. What I do with the camera is something entirely different. I'd like to be like them someday, but that is a long road forward and I'll be lucky to have enough life left (let alone talent) to even get close. But that's a whole other debate I won't subject you to.

As I have faced these questions, over the last several months, it has dawned on me that I want to be a better photographer, pure and simple. I want to be better at the bare bones of shooting with my camera the images I wish to capture, and not relying on photoshop to do all of the work. Hence, the online class and a studio light workshop I took locally a couple of weeks ago.

I'm really not a technical person at all, and maybe that's why I've shied away from really getting to know my camera. But the time for assuming I can't learn this stuff is over. I've danced around the periphery of "photography" too long. It's time I embrace it with my whole heart and knock down the self imposed mystic. And so I am.

Momentary reflection on courage...

2011-11-14T00:37:00.001-08:00

There are times when I am struck by the courage that life requires of us. Each step we take is toward something better, we hope. But there are no guarantees. Whether it's courage we need for the battle against what may threaten body and mind on a life threatening level, or the courage needed to see past the risk of scrapes and bruises, it's courage through fear with which we are all challenged. We push through, or we stand still. But the requirements never ease. For the sake of something better we must be brave. We must feel the threat and lean into it. In these respects, I'm inclined to believe that we are all heros just for being here.

Inspired by my son learning to ride his bike, and stories of those who fought in, died in, and survived WWII (WWII in HD on the History Channel)

random thoughts...

2011-11-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

... as I was cutting fabric and listening to Mumford and Sons today I thought to myself:

Song is my church.
Trees, rivers, mountain, volcanos, avalanches, and deer are my god.
Art is my holy, my miracle.
Those who love me, body and soul, are my salvation.

How lucky I feel to be so clear on this.

Inspired by...

2011-11-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

The sound... Mumford and Sons' live album (I found it via Rhapsody but can't seem to find it anywhere else, even the M&S website)

The words... Georgia O'Keeffe

I decided that if I could paint that flower in a huge scale, you could not ignore its beauty.

I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.

I don't very much enjoy looking at paintings in general. I know too much about them. I take them apart.

I feel there is something unexplored about woman that only a woman can explore.

I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for.

I had to create an equivalent for what I felt about what I was looking at - not copy it.

The sight... of the sea and all the peace that it brings

School House Craft Conference Part Three

2011-10-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

This third installment of Conference Goodness was one of the most valuable for me in really setting up a mindset that I'd been lacking and craving for years.

Small & Successful by Emira Mears

Emira Mears is the coauthor of The Boss of You, along with her business partner Lauren Bacon. Both women also run the web design business Raised Eyebrow.

Contrary to the traditional business philosophy that decrees "If you're not growing, you're dying" (which to me really means that if your business isn't growing like a cancer, rapidly and without limits, then you are not going to survive, let alone succeed.), Small and Successful was about having a personal vision for one's business that may not conform to traditional dogma but can be successful.

The most important takeaway from this talk for me was the question: What does success look like and feel like to me?

It might seem that having an open ended definition of success would make sense, that a vague hope of going as far as we can, earning as much money as we can, is goal enough. Emira shared a story that aptly illustrates why this doesn't always work. Sandra Wilson, the inventor of Robeez soft leather shoes for babies, was looking for a way to build a home based business so that she could spend more time with her 18 month old son. When she fashioned a pair of soft shoes from colorful leather for her son she realized that they were helping her son learn to walk. Thus, a business was born. But, it quickly became a mammoth entity that took her away from the creative aspects of making shoes and delivered her into management roles that looked nothing like her original goals. She made a lot of money but was very unhappy with the way she was spending her time. She eventually sold the company and while many in the business world see her story as a soaring success, she was never happy with the way things worked out.

The definition of success is different for everyone

*It evolves over time, changing with the circumstances of one's life.

*Write it all down

-Reevaluate our definition of success periodically and write it down so that it becomes clear what we want and when we are getting it.

-Take note of milestones and celebrate them. It's important to realize achievement in the

moment instead of alway looking forward to the next hurdle.

-When we write it down we are much less likely to compare our inner feelings of where we are with the outward appearance of what we think others have.

*Questions to ask ourselves (We are our own employers, negotiate)

-What is the minimum amount of money we need/want to earn, and what is the maximum?

-What kind of work/life balance do you want? How much time off do you want?

-How do I feel while I'm working?

-What tools do I want to work with?

Growing in our own way.

*As your definition of success evolves you may need to consider:

-Staff - Would adding staff to your business allow you to do more of the things that you want to be doing and fewer of the things you don't?

-Increased Production - Does increasing the volume of producing your product or service fit within your definition of success, or do you need to say "No"?

*Saying No - You don't have to be swept up in the tidal force of where your business is headed. You can shape that tide by saying "no" or by saying "yes, but...", "yes, if..."here is what I can do..."

-Saying any of the above can help your business by supporting the perception that you are in demand and valuable

-Defining a set of criteria for accepting new work/opportunities might be helpful in remaining clear about one's goals.

Being our own best boss.

*Get help when we need it, so that we are doing the things in the business we want to be doing.

*Prepare and learn

*Pay self well - budget for benefits, pay, and vacations or they will never happen.

Resources discussed:

*Books:

-Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen

-Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastination and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy

*Web

-Remember the Milk - online to do list and task management

-The Boss of You blog - if any of the topics of this post interested you, this blog is a great place to read more!!!

Art House Coop : Sketchbook Project

2011-10-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

I'm having this really weird experience. I have finished a project before the last possible minuet. Not just before the last minuets, which in itself is really strange, but months before the last minuet. I'm actually done with this so early that the deadline to join isn't even up!!! Seriously, this is really, really freaking me out.

In case you are unfamiliar with this very cool, collective, grassroots, anybody can do it, project, here is the gist from their website :

It's like a concert tour, but with sketchbooks.Thousands of sketchbooks will be exhibited at galleries and museums as they make their way on tour across the world.
After the tour, all sketchbooks will enter into the permanent collection of The Brooklyn Art Library, where they will be barcoded and available for the public to view.
Anyone - from anywhere in the world - can be a part of the project.To participate and have us send you a sketchbook that will go on tour, start by choosing a theme.

Project dates

Oct 31st, 2011

Jan 31st, 2012

POSTMARK YOUR BOOK BY

April, 2012

TOUR STARTS

The theme I chose this year was: Stiches and Folds. I thought I was going to be a lot more literal with my theme but it didn't turn out that way. Instead I played with line and shape a lot. I suppose I felt like my pen was the embodiment of metaphorical needle and pressing fingers. I hope you like.

School House Craft Conference Part Two

2011-10-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

As promised, I'm back with more from the School House Craft Conference. I know, I'm kind of shocked too. For some neurotic reason, once I declare I'm going to do something here on the blog it's usually the kiss of death and it never happens. Hey, maybe I'm growing up.

This second installment of wisdom gleaned from the folks who have been there done that is all about the Dos & Don't of Approaching Shops & Galleries with your fine art or craft.

On the panel we had a variety of perspectives:

Lucy & Ryan Berkley : Berkley Illustration & Let's Share

A married couple, both creative, both in the business of making/selling art, with their current focus being on Ryan's illustrations.

Emily Grosse : Assemble

Part owner and manager of a Seattle gallery, store, and educational center for fine craft.

Andrea Porter : Matthew Porter Art

Once owned and ran a gallery. Now manages her husband's artistic career.

The absolute, No. 1 take away from this talk is: RESEARCH!

Preparation is key before approaching a gallery or store for the purpose of getting them to feature your work.

* You need to know the names of the owners/managers you will be approaching, read their bios when available. Research!

* Visit the location when possible. Have a good sense about whether your work fits in with the aesthetic sensibilities of the particular shop/gallery, and be able to state why.

* Know the neighborhood that the shop/gallery is situated in, whether it is in line with your work (traditional galleries vs. indie craft, for example), and whether you have work in other places near by (may not be great to saturate the area with your product because it becomes more difficult for any one store to sell much).

* Be personable and professional, friendly and considerate.

Most Effective First Contact:

* Walking in out of the blue and wanting to show a portfolio to someone there is not the most tactful approach. It assumes that the people working there will drop what they are doing to look at your work, which can be read as disrespectful. There are folks who don't mind this approach however, so it's a judgement call.

* Emailing first is a good idea, but make sure you have the right names and that they are spelled correctly. Follow up a few days later via a phone call or email.

* If you happen to be in the store/gallery when you decide you'd like to submit a portfolio for consideration, give them a business card and say that you might be a good fit. They might tell you how to go about contacting the appropriate people or you can ask to send an email.

* Another option is to send a packet through regular mail, which might include samples, business cards, handwritten note, and a line sheet.

* Ultimately you need to be clear about what you make and what your "point of view" is.

What Owners Look For in Artists:

* Will your product sell?

* Do you have a web presence?

* Do you have a track record for selling?

* Is there a sense about you that you are a serious working artist?

* Do you have a vision, a clear point of view, about your products?

The takeaway for my own business:

* I need an artist statement (grumble)

* I need to streamline the BAC name/image

* I need to get some sales under my belt online, or figure out why I'm not getting those.

* I need to figure out what my market is.

* I need to network, meet other artists and get to know the local art scene (SHIT!!!)

I hope this was helpful!

Anna Aden is haunting me

2011-10-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about "branding" (a concept I learned at the School House Craft conference and will talk about more later). I've been trying to nail down a cohesive and consistant image of what Blue Algae Creative is. So far, I've come up with the words: Wild, Raw & Romantic. (more on that later too)

As I'm cultivating this image, deciding what BAC is and is not, I'm reminded of a photographer that I found over the summer and just LOVE. Her work reminds me of a place I like to be in my head. And, it reminds me a little of my own work, but with a bit more youth infused maybe.

Anna Aden of Sweden. (Flickr, Blog, Agency, Web)

So much of all of this resonates with me. Wild. Raw. Romantic. It's all there, what I'm always after.

All photos in this post are the property of Anna Aden and cannot be used in any way without her expressed consent. Use of her images here was done with her permission.

Blogging 101 : my reaction

2011-10-02T10:55:00.000-07:00

One of the strongest messages from the Blogging 101 Panel to reach my personal blogging heart was the bit about always responding to comments & fostering a sense of connection and community. This is something that I've wanted more of but have fallen short on. I'm not surprised. Connecting doesn't come naturally to me. I have to think about it on a conscious level, always.

On top of my natural tendencies to shy away from connecting, I have the distinctly challenging issue of not know how best to respond to comments. It seems to me there are three routs, none of which are very convient or effective. (1) I could track down each person's email address via their comment profile. The problem with that is that not every commenter has included their email in their profile, so I must search their blog, or website. Even then, it can be hard to locate. And, that takes time. Time. Ack, that precious resource. It's time well spent, sure, but time I don't usually have. (2) I could respond in the comments section of my blog to those who have left messages there. But, there's no guarantee that commenters will ever see my replies. That would be frustrating, but perhaps better than doing nothing. (3)Or, I could respond to comments within my posts. While this would be more effective in terms of everyone seeing them, it feels a bit public to me. Yes, comments are public, but somehow highlighting individual comments & commenters in actual posts seems a little exploitive.

I'm thinking #2 might be the best of these limited choices, but I'm open to suggestions. Anyone out there got this one figured out?

School House Craft Conference Part One

2011-10-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I spend much of my time at the School House Craft conference (where we were all schooled in the business of craft).

"I want to live inside this daydream" 2011 Blue Algae Creative

In a nutshell it was a three day conference in Seattle (so close to my house that I got a prize for coming the least distance to attend. The prize for the farthest distance went to someone from Nebraska I think.) focused on the ins and outs of building, maintaining, growing, and/or making a success of a craft/handmade based business. It was quite enlightening, and I've come away with such a stronger sense of where my energies should be focused, how I need to use the skills I have, and what skills I still need to learn. In a word: Focus. Focus is the key here.

I, in fact, found the information so valuable and motivating that I thought I share some highlights with you all.

The first talk I went to was Blogging 101, a panel consisting of
Blair Stocker: Wise Craft

Megan Reardon: Not Martha

Molly Wizenber: Orangette

I chose this panel because, although I have been blogging for 6 years, I've been really wanting to get inside the heads of very successful bloggers and see if their experiences have been similar to mine or if they see the world of blogging totally different.

In general, I can say, they confirmed most of my instincts which I found to be very reassuring.

**Italisized verbiage is my own input/interpretation, not something said in session.

Why Blog? As a creative entity (person or organization) blogging can be important in that it creates a deeper identity associated with your creative endeavor. People like stories, and particularly along with creative product. I think that often people are somewhat mystified when someone has the skill to create something that they can't, and often I think they want a window into that mystery. Blogging can do that. A website is about the nuts and bolts of who you are, what you do, where you can be found, and how to purchase from or contact you. A blog makes it all personal in terms of knowing more about the person behind the magic and/or how they do that thing they do.

How to grow our presence &/or following?

*Social Media: Twitter, Facebook, Google +, Pinterest, etc.

*Keywords / Tags

*Feeds - make certain your blog is open to feeds by going to feed services and signing up. (feed burner, google reader, etc.)

*DIYs get attention

*Respond to comments - so that readers don't feel like they are reading in a vacuum. It's a kind of thank you for investing the time to read what I've written.

*Set high standards for your blog content so that readers feel you are a reliable source for what you are offering. Reliability.

*Link to other blog content that is similar to your own.

*DO NOT USE OTHERS' PHOTOS WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Blogs that work, according to panelists:

because they are thoughtful, have a clear point of view, are honest and authentic, and they foster connection.

more after the jump

Blair's blog picks:

Anna Maria Horner
Anna Maria is a sewing book author, fabric and pattern designer, and mom of a largefamily. Her life and her words seem to have as much cheerful, vivid color andpattern as her fabrics do, and I love her sense of humor and design sense. She oftentalks about the making of her products, how and why they came to be, which isalways very interesting to me as an artisan.
Site: http://www.annamariahorner.com/Blog: http://annamariahorner.blogspot.com
Design Mom
A lot of the reason I love Design Mom is because Gabrielle Blair has a fabulous life(lives in Normandy, has 6 kids and seems to take it all in stride, stylishly to boot.). Ithink she has a very calming, approachable voice that is easy to read. You want toknow more. She often talks about her family, but also her design background, andseems to effectively curate a
Site: http://www.designmom.com/
3191
Stephanie and Maria seem to break all the rules of social media. Don't change yourwebsites url, it'll break all the links... tweet and facebook yourself constantly (theydon't)... Folks seem to seek them out and come to them. This online journal is aquiet spot for them to explore photographing their everyday life. Beautiful photodiptychs and few words, no comments allowed. Their quiet formula is quitepowerful.
Site: http://3191.visualblogging.com/
Something's hiding in here
Shauna and Steven are the married artisans behind their own line of handmadebowties, Forage, as well as handmade goods made from various other materials likewood, letterpress, etc. Their product line is diverse, but their aesthetic unifies alltheir products and creates more of a total feel and lifestyle, which makes me feel asif I've "entered their world" when I click on their blog.
Blog: http://www.somethingshidinginhere.com/
Dottie Angel
Dottie Angel is the crafty alter ego of Tif Fussel. She has pretty much set thestandard for all things artisan "granny chic" and cool. She blogs about her home, herthrifting adventures, and what inspires her creations.
Site: http://dottieangel.com/default.aspx
Blog: http://dottieangel.blogspot.com/

Megan's blog picks:

Moop Shop
Moop makes handbags, and the blog shares some behind the scenes
details, news on upcoming projects as well as peeks into the personal
lives of the founders. I've been reading the blog and watched Moop
grow from a one-‐woman operation and develop to add her husband, a moveto a new city and the opening up of a storefront/workspace all the waythrough adding employees to help with bag construction. She shares herfavorite things, some details about the remodeling of her house, and
how her daughter inspires new bag designs (bags for summer camp andreturning to school have been created just for her). Because of the
blog I went from simply being a shopper to a fan of the business
itself.
Shop: http://www.moopshop.com/Blog: http://moopshop.blogspot.com/
CakeSpy
Jessie is an illustrator who creates paintings, murals and variousgreat things (and she has a book coming out soon!). She uses her blogto point people towards her goods and what is going on in her reallife store, but it mainly focuses on her favorite sweets. She looks
into the history of our baked goods, reports on visits to bakeriesduring her travels, shares some of what she's been baking andexcellent recipes from all over. It's like getting a peek into her
brain. http://www.cakespy.com/
Juniper Moon Fiber Farm
Juniper Moon Fiber Farm is a fiber and yarn CSA based in Virginia. Theblog talks about everyday life on the farm, follows the sheep, goats
and farm dogs. They report on when lambs are born in the spring (andkeep a 24 hour Lamb Cam), request reader help in naming the newmembers of the flock, show pictures from sheering day. They also sharerecipes and tips from what they learn living on the farm, including
how they managed to go paper-‐towel free. Susan, the founder, is veryopen about the good and the hard times of living on a farm, isdelighted to be able to show off the baby animals. After reading thisblog you get to know that the farm is more of a family. This isanother example of how I went from being a shopper to a fan of thebusiness.
Site: http://www.fiberfarm.com/Blog: http://www.fiberfarm.com/blog

This Charming Candy
This Charming Candy is a two-‐lady lollipop shop and they keepcustomers updated on what new flavors they are working on, what iscurrently inspiring them and where they will be selling lollipops inperson. I like this as an example of how to keep a company blog simplebut keep your customers engaged.http://www.thischarmingcandy.com/
St Kilda Jewelry
St. Kilda makes fine and edgy jewelry in Brooklyn. The blog documentsher inspirations from fashion and design, shows upcoming designs,occasionally talks about which jewelry she is wearing that day in aseries called Bling of the Day. I love it as a source for things I
wouldn't see anywhere else. This is an example of a blog that is lighton the personal essays but keeps me engaged with the business.Shop: http://www.stkildajewelry.com
Blog: http://stkildajewelry.wordpress.com/

Molly's blog picks:

Saipua
Saipua is a shop in Brooklyn, NY, that sells handmade soap and candles and doesflower arranging and styling. It started out as a soap business, but now they'remostly known for the flowers, which are spectacular -‐ often asymmetrical andalways soft, elegant, a little romantic The business has its own website, but SarahRyhanen, one of its owners, also keeps a blog. The blog is mostly photos of flowersthey've been working on, but Sarah is a sharp, thoughtful, and often very funnywriter, and I love the way her personality comes through on the blog. It soundscheesy, but I really like her spirit -‐ enough that I mail-‐order soaps all the way fromBrooklyn just to support what she does!
Blog: http://saipua.blogspot.com/Site: http://www.saipua.com/
The Blue Hour
This blog is written by Brian W. Ferry, a lawyer by day and photographer in his offhours. Brian has an incredible eye for light and detail, and though I think he startedthe site for purely personal reasons, his photography has really taken off. Helaunched a portfolio site, and because of the blog, he's gotten jobs for otherwebsites, magazines, and books. He even shot a huge ad campaign for Starbucksrecently. But the site continues to be very him -‐ a quiet, thoughtful look at his worldand what inspires him in it.
Blog: http://bferry.wordpress.com/Portfolio site: http://www.brianwferry.com/

Notes from More & Co.
More & Co. is a Portland, Maine-‐based creative studio that does art direction, bookdesign, branding, styling, and more. Notes from More & Co. is their blog, and it'supdated nearly daily by one of the three partners: Maria, Ryan, and Christopher.
The blog is mostly pictures and only a little bit of text (plus the occasional video),but it gives you a great sense for who they are, what drives them, what they'reworking on, and what their process is like. Makes me want to hire them! (And, fulldisclosure: they are friends of mine from back before they were More & Co., and I'mworking with them on a project this fall.)
Blog: http://blog.alittlemorelikethis.com/Site: http://alittlemorelikethis.com
Canal House Cooks Lunch
Canal House is collaboration between two incredibly accomplished former editorsfrom Saveur magazine and elsewhere: Christopher Hirsheimer and MelissaHamilton. They run a small studio in New Jersey where they do food styling andphotography, and a couple of years ago, they launched Canal House Cooking, a seriesof seasonal cookbooks that they publish a few times a year. (I'm a subscriber.) Ontheir blog, Canal House Cooks Lunch, they post a photo (and often a shortdescription) of whatever they've made for themselves for lunch that day. I love it!
The food always looks beautiful, no matter how simple it is, and the concept feelsvery intimate. And it keeps me eager for more of their work.
Blog: http://lunch.thecanalhouse.com/
Site: http://thecanalhouse.com/
Keri Smith
Keri Smith is an artist, writer, and author of several very successful books oncreativity: Wreck This Journal, How to Be an Explorer of the World, The Guerrilla ArtKit, and more. On her blog, she shares a variety of things: doodles she made, quotesshe read, musings on her latest project, etc. She winds up talking about her books alot, but it never feels like she's trying to sell you something. She's just sharing herprocess -‐ living out loud, you could say. I come back to this site often, especiallywhen I'm feeling stuck in my own process.
Blog: http://www.kerismith.com/blog

And some other information on their handouts that you might find useful:

Blogging 101 Basics

Blogging platforms:
Blogger http://www.blogger.com Free, and owned by Google. Molly uses this one.

Wordpress http://wordpress.org/ (requires your own hosting, or hosted for you at http://wordpress.com/) Megan uses this one.

SquareSpace http://www.squarespace.com/ Monthly fee, easy to use for non-‐coders.

TypePad http://www.typepad.com/ Free or paid, easy for non-‐coders. Blair uses this one.

Flickr.com is often used as an image hosting company, but be aware therules dictate that you cannot use it to sell. Meaning, you cannot put up a picture of your item and a link to where to buy it in thedescription of that image.

Blogging 101 "Good to Know"

Useful tutorial: This tutorial at Design*Sponge written by Amanda walks you through theprocess of buying and setting up a domain and then creating a websiteusing Wordpress:http://www.designsponge.com/2010/06/biz-‐ladies-‐get-‐a-‐website-‐in-‐a-‐weekend.html

If you do buy hosting here are two companies Megan has used in the past:

http://dreamhost.com/
http://mediatemple.net/

And here are companies consistently recommended to Megan:http://www.bluehost.com/
http://www.godaddy.com/

What to put in your sidebar:

A picture of you! Followed by a short bio with a link to your shop.

A link to your shop, preferably your logo.

A few images of what you sell in your shop with links, naturally.

A list of links to other sites you like.

RSS Feeds - Be sure to "open up" all the available feeds so that your blog can be found and readin a RSS reader or aggregator. (Examples of these are Google Reader, Feedburner,Technorati) . Usually this involves simply creating a profile on these sites with yourblog's url, but some blogging platforms will allow you to do it from their site.

Google Analytics - Sign up your blog's url address to see detailed stat information. There are severalinteresting things you can do with these analytics. Some tips at CraftyPodhttp://www.craftypod.com/2010/07/07/google-‐analytics-‐tricks-‐for-‐crafters-‐site-‐overlay/

I hope this all was beneficial to some of you. I know it was for me.

Next time: The Dos and Don'ts of Approaching Shops & Galleries.

Firsts

2011-09-09T10:59:00.001-07:00

I have a thing about firsts. It was a game we played after my husband and I got married. First breakfast as a married couple... First bridge we drove over as a married couple... It was silly, but rooted deeply in the way my mind works. If I wasn't careful, I'm pretty sure I could become possessed by a compulsion to document every event in my family's lives. (The first time I mopped the floors of my new home. The last elevator ride in the apartment building we use to live in. Etc.)

My son's first year on this planet was littered with these first and perfectly defendable ones (Oh the freedom to be neurotic). I tried to write them down as diligently as a sleep deprived-new mommy-zombie can be expected to, but I'm sure I missed a few (like the first time he snored). Since then the firsts have been copious yet slowly declining in frequency.

This week, however, we had a bona-fied, completely lagit, first to celebrate.

It would seem, on the outside, like a fairly isolated first really. Or, so I thought.

It's the boy going off to school, not me. It's only and evolution of his educational experience since he's been in preschool for two years prior.

But no. It's been huge. Huge for us parents mostly, I suspect. Don't get me wrong, the boy is excited (can you see it in his face) and he is adjusting well. For us parents, its a whole new world of PTA meetings, volunteering, networking with parents, grades, homework, tutoring, sports, fund raising, relationships with faculty, and so on... that will continue on for 13+ years. Wholly smokes!

Plus, as my husband so aptly identified, its a completely unpredictable and uncharted job change for me. Who the hell am I now?

I will figure it out, not to worry. In the meantime we are basking in the glow of surreal-ness that comes from finally meeting a rite of passage that has been many years in the making.

PS... Think I was kidding about the firsts obsession? Check it out:

First Bowling

First playground in Seattle

First Tic Tac Toe

First playground ever

First Carousel

shop update

2011-09-06T10:28:00.001-07:00

I've been doing a little updating over at the shop and thought I'd let you know about it. Along with my photographs I am now offering "made to order" floral cards.

I'll be adding more over the next few days, along with some new photographs.

Pssst... If you go over and buy one, and you mention this post in the message to seller box, I will include a special something for free....just cause, you know, we are such close buddies and all that. =0)

loving these colors

2011-08-28T19:08:00.001-07:00

one...

2011-08-27T20:04:00.001-07:00

...of the many sensations and experiences I craved before our "camping/cabin" trip in July was that of fire.

I love the whole process of coaxing it into existence, nurturing, feeding it, growing it into a healthy, robust, consumer.

I like the heat, the unspecific, waffling heat that you must turn your body in a slow rotation in order to feel... that heat that comes from elemental and timeless processes of earth and chemistry... a clean, un complicated, un mechanical kind of heat that will kick your ass if your not careful.

I like the sounds, the crackling wood and sap that pop and sizzle. I like the smell of pine, and smoke, yet again so elemental and natural and fierce and clean. I like the angelic like softness of smoke streaming up above to the tops of trees and beyond. I even like the comical dance we do when the breeze changes and suddenly the smoke is intrusive, chasing us like duck duck goose around the fire's perimeter.

I like to watch what becomes of wood when it is change rapidly by chemical reaction into flaky, dusty, powdery, ashen soot.

It all amazes me over and over, no matter how much I learn about how nature does what it does, no matter how many times I bare witness, it's... just... so... amazing. .. no matter that I have a computer in my pocket disguised as a phone, or that I can fly through the air as a method of travel, or that my words could reach you only minuets after I've thought them... fire, smoke, wood, ash, trees, water, wind.... all amaze me more than anything.

I was satisfied for a while, my craving tamed, but now I want it again.

m o r e . . .

2011-08-27T10:53:00.001-07:00

...river singing to my soul, drawing me out, luring me in, like a siren song, promising nothing but only b e i n g .

beginnings

2011-08-21T19:28:00.001-07:00

Been drawing and collaging a lot in the last couple of months. Here are a few.

I've wanted to get myself into collage for a long time but lacked the entry point. The wildflowers I was drawing before suddenly started appearing on paint chips. Then those paint chips started arranging themselves with other scraps of paper.

I'm not even beginning to see these as being up to the caliber of "art". I'm just getting my feet wet, in training camp as it were. I hope to evolve to a far great level of sophistication, depth, and originality in the future.

r i v e r

2011-08-20T15:03:00.001-07:00

The word has extra spaces because it seems to me to need to be whispered in reverence right now. Bodies of water hold magical powers over me, as if I once where a droplet in a recent life and never had felt more at home in myself.

This river, name unknown, lives near the camping spot we visited in late July. It's near Quilcene on the Olympic peninsula in Washington State.

I was in love. It beaconed me into it's embrace with it clear watery blues and greens. It almost felt like a seduction.

But with each toe dipped into the liquid heaven, I was bitten back by my human inferiority to withstand the chill.

It was a maddening, yet somehow peaceful, playful, exhilarating, tug of war between needing to be part of the beauty and self preservation.

So, instead of physically bathing in the beauty of it all, I took these pictures, and the feelings evoked, with me.

seriously, I'm just rambling.

2011-08-15T16:37:00.001-07:00

I'm beginning to believe that trying to evaluate one's own work is the surest and quickest method for inducing insanity. I can hear the words in my head, waffling, teeter tottering, between righteous declarations of my genius and self loathing. It happens in the quickest fractions of a second and I'm almost convinced there are other personalities in there fully intent on carrying out this debate, and winning.

I try to stay the hell out of it really. I just hear them, try to drown them out with music, and focus on the work before me, like a kid taking a test in a crowded classroom. Can you see my arm wrapped around the perimeter of my paper, my back hunched, pencil scrawling, and lifting an eye on occasion to asses the danger of invasion?

And if the constant debate is the schizophrenic break from a fully grounded reality, the lack of outside feedback is the genetic predisposition to the illness. Or, more simply... Trying to evaluate my own work is making me crazy, and having no other feedback but my own (and that of those who love me and are therefore invested in my happy sanity) is the cause, origin, and straightjacket (continued instigator) of the whole affair.

Mind you, I'm not complaining... Well, maybe I am. But I'm not complaining to or about you, dear reader. It's more of a cosmic complaint, foisted up to the stars by no name artists, musicians, poets, etc.. for an eternity or more. You, dear reader, are here, reading, consuming my work and words. That alone, but also with statistical reports of your unanimous activity, is tremendously reassuring, nourishing even. And those of you who comment on occasion are really what keep me coming back to this space. It's one thing to know how many individuals come knocking on this door, but it's another thing all together to know, by your own words, that you relate to me and my constant companion named angst. (Doesn't it seem like the words "angst" should have an "x" in it? No? Ok, it's just me)

White

2011-07-18T09:49:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I felt the need to look at white, to be in it, to work it and float away on it. So, I did.

happy (warm) day

2011-06-27T22:09:00.001-07:00

Our warm and clear days have been few and far between here in Seattle. I'm still trying to figure out what normal weather patterns are here. Our first summer we had record high temps in the 90's with crazy humidity. The second summer had less sever and short lived but similar heat. This year, well, we went something like 115 days, between November and May without the temperature getting up the 70f. (sorry if my math doesn't add up - I'm a liberal arts geek and ADD won't let me check that it's right. That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it.)

We are having warmer days finally, but it's not everyday, nor every week, we get a beautifully warm and clear day like we had on Tuesday last. The boy happens to be on break from preschool so we high tailed it over to what passes for a beach here (very different from what I grew up with in Southern California, but still lovely and most admired for it's unique wonderment). We went completely unprepared, which is best sometimes, and the boy rode home in soggy underwear.

It was fun though, and he is getting so brave. My baby is growing up and I'm dealing with the fact that my everyday buddy will soon be off to Kindergarden and I will have to get a life of my own. The term bittersweet has never felt more apt.

gifts

2011-06-23T22:52:00.001-07:00

I feel like I have about 150,000 blog posts in the works and am stuck on all of them. Ahh good intentions. So, with little hoopla I'm just going to jump in.

I've been doing a lot of sketching of wild flowers lately, and when I was thinking about what to make for my son's preschool teachers for the year end thank you-s, I started sketching on note cards and envelopes. I did a set of seven for both teachers.

They seemed to really like them and I'm very glad because those two women changed my son's life forever.

My son goes to a speech and language preschool that specializes in helping kids deal with and improve their speech issues. One student is a child of a deaf mother and needed help learning to speak since he doesn't hear it at home. A couple of girls in the class have parent's who primarily speak a language other than English and needed help learning to correctly articulate English. My son, and a very good friend, have a speech delay, meaning that something in their development caused them to start talking late.

For my son the delay was entirely a motor issue (his mouth is not very coordinated) and not a cognitive one, but having any kind of delay can adversely effect other areas of development. He'd been in private speech therapy for a year when we found this school. He was making great progress but he was still not talking to people in the community, which I just knew in my bones was wrong because there is nothing my boy loves more than people. Six weeks in, he started having short conversations with baristas and such. A year later, he is almost completely caught up to his peers. He is confident, chatty with strangers (and seriously never stops talking to me!! He wants to know how everything works, why it works, and how I know how it works. He's such a brite little guy) and fully looking forward to Kindergarten starting in the fall.

He has a month left of "summer camp" at his preschool and somehow I have to find a way to tell these women what an amazing thing they did. I always knew he had ideas and questions bursting from his imagination. I knew he wanted to participate in the world, to be at the center or the sidelines or wherever he could be to be part of it all. I knew he was brimming with compassion and friendliness but had no way to show it. They, and his incredable speech therapist, showed him how.

They gave my child the world, and the world, my child.

How do you thank someone for that?

personal challenge

2011-05-30T22:21:00.001-07:00

I am the first to admit that I'm not bursting with original ideas. Up until recently, that hasn't bothered me all that much. I've been comfortable with the idea that gaining inspiration from others' ideas and then making them my own is not only a valid way to approach the making of art, but a good one. I'm starting to ~~question~~... ~~rethink~~... desire something more of myself. I'm getting to a point where I want to be more like my heros, who are originals, and not merely worship them.

There was a scene toward the end of the series "Extras " in which Ricky G. character, after being relentlessly unsatisfied with his agent's ability to deliver for years, was asked something akin to Do you want to be famous or do you want to be an artist? To which Ricky's character replied that he wanted both. Ah, but only the rare, truly gifted, lucky few gain that status was the agent's reply. (all of this paraphrased by a faulty memory)

It's an interesting question, don't you think? What's more important, to be loved or respected; to be popular or authentic (if the two should happen to oppose each other); to be in the spotlight no matter the cost or reason, or to be quietly content in one's own skin.

This conundrum has stuck with me, for years, rolling around in the back of my mind for an unknown reason.

It's not that I've ever craved fame. In all honesty being famous seems like an awful way to live. I like that my life is small in many respects, and I like things to move slowly, whenever possible. But, when I think of being famous in the broader context of being seen or known as an artist, it takes on new meaning. I don't want or need to be famous or popular by any standards, but every little bit of notice my work gets has a powerful and deep effect on me.

And it isn't that I need the positive feedback, though that is always bolstering and inspiring. What I need and want more than anything is feedback at all.

And, I'm just getting this as I type, because it was a question in my mind... why do I feel the need to put my work out there? And now I know...

I just want to know what people think. Good or bad. As long as it's honest and thoughtful, I'd be happy about it.

So, I stumble along with a blog (which really is more about therapy for my soul) and my flickr stream, and my etsy store, hoping for a crumble of feedback, not knowing any better way. And when the etsy purchases don't come, when the flickr and blog comments are few and far between, I question myself. Is my work really so non-compelling, so mediocre, so derivative, that it inspires little response? Or, is it merely that I'm not as popular as others because of my quiet ways, my small life, my humility and shyness?

So much to ponder. Seeking clarity will continue, always.

A lovely Job

2011-05-29T23:16:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I posted anything about my real estate photography venture. That's only because the really fun places to shoot are those that are staged, and they don't come around too often. I did have the pleasure of shooting one such home Saturday however and it really was a joy.

It's a small home well renovated with modern aesthetics in mind while keeping as much of the authentic, vintage appeal intact.

Unfortunately, this particular developer likes to buy up lovely gems like this, renovate, and often split the lot so another home can be built on it. It's a shame too cause this place had a nice patch of green behind it that is now framed up to be the smallest house on the block.

I absolutely loved this use of attic space. It was so cozy and felt like a lovely retreat. A powder room, at least, would have been a nice addition though.

drawn

2011-05-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

Drawn by an unknown or unknowable force I feel the need for a purely basic kind of existence that becomes far more body involved and brain restorative than anything I know now. I am drawn to, at least the idea of, work, labor, repetitive motion and the prolonged, intentional meeting of basic needs. I want the work of life to be about feeding and being fed, walking and wandering, making heat to warm and cook and bathe, tilling the soil to grow what we need, tending my babe while working to keep us all sound. I want to be bone tired at nightfall and wake with the rising sun. I want to be so close to survival that smells of loamy soil.

My spirit/soul/basic nature want these things. But knowing myself, I just wonder if it would all grow old quickly and become burden before ever becoming revery.

I'm not impulsive. I sit with a thing a long time before I take action, which means I'm slow to move but deliberate. After feeling this pull toward a more basic life for several months, I'm making plans to put that desire/need up against actual experience. We are plotting out a long weekend at a remote cabin which has electricity (for my husband's sleep apnea machine) but no stove or oven (only a fire pit outside). We can be as self sufficient or as lazy as we like and I'm hoping it will give me a taste, let me know if I want more, or less of this or that.

mama's day

2011-05-06T12:31:00.001-07:00

We've been a bit goofy around here as of late. It might have something to do with a sprinkling of sunshine and temperatures above 60f throughout our typically gloomy weeks. Whatever the reason, it's been good and fun and I highly recommend it as a way of being.

It's also a great circumstance in which to mother my brood. So, this mother's day, more than feeling the need for recognition, I'm feeling gratitude and pride at the gift I've been given.. a home full of love and a definition of family I can wrap my whole heart around.

Thanks for choosing me my loves. My cup runith over.

I am Japan

2011-03-24T14:27:00.001-07:00

On September 11, 2001 the world mourned with America and a great many declared they too were New Yorkers on that day. I feel very much like many of us are Japanese right now. So many of us, in the creative online community are feeling deep sorrow and empathetic longing to somehow lay a hand on Japan's gaping wounds in an effort to staunch the bleeding, offer comfort, or, if only, to just let them know we are there... with them... mourning, hoping, waiting, wishing, being Japanese.

There are so many folks searching for ways to reach out with whatever money, time, skill, or asset they have to give. It's a compulsion (a positive one, as in feeling compelled to help) for some, a need, and a methodically conscious act.

Here, a group of strangers are folding 1000 cranes and shooting photos of them to create a virtual origami crane chain in hopes of sending luck or sentiment to Japan. It's the need or desire to do something.

Here are photographers and artists who are trying to auction off pieces of their work via a flickr group with proceeds going to Japanese relief. It's a way to raise capital, to buy water, food and shelter perhaps, for the half million displaced and homeless Japanese.

Many established artists and photographers are selling or auctioning off work and/or services to raise capital.

Sebrina Wilson Photography

Alicia Bock Photography

James White via 'you have been here sometime'

Rob Dobi

Steve Denekas and Walker Cahall

On etsy, it's difficult to avoid running into a store that is not doing something along these lines.

It's all so beautiful to me, how we come together, like siblings protecting their own when one gets picked on.

What has also struck me as profoundly beautiful is the dignity with which many people in Japan have reacted to the trauma. At least in the early days after the quake there was no looting of stores and hoarding of supplies. Vending machines, stocked with food and drink, rendered useless by the lack of electricity were left intact - not cracked open like walnuts. Employers searched for employees. People banned together to fashion cook fires in pits with oil drums so what food there was to be found could be prepared. The rubble of homes used for fuel.

Dignity. Decorum. Generosity. Caring. Humility. Selflessness. We, as a culture (in the U.S.) could take a lesson, it seems to me. We have these things, to be sure. But I think not so universally, and not always when the chips are down.

My heart goes to Japan several times a day, as I'm sure your's does. As brothers, sisters, siblings on this planet, I wish them well.

party favor ideas??

2011-03-14T17:41:00.001-07:00

The boy has a birthday coming up very quickly and while I swore to be ready far in advance, I feel it's coming at me at warp 10. We are combining his party with a friend who has the exact same birthday (same year too). There's no definite theme but much bunting is being made and I'm looking to hand make all/most of the party favors.

Here is where I need your help. I'm looking through all those wonderful blogs out there who share these kinds of ideas with us so generously (Sim+Sons, lovely design, etc.) and thought I'd send out an appeal to you, dear blogger/reader to see if you have any ideas you've written about or seen on other blogs that you are bursting at the seems to share.

Many thanks in advance!!!

tread softly on me

2011-03-13T17:11:00.001-07:00

I found this quote

"I have spread my dreams under your feet: tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
~W.B. Yates

on islandgirlsj's Flickr photostream and it nearly brought me to tears. How intimately vulnerable a statement, and oh so beautiful. I find the courage to be honest and vulnerable with another human being to be one of the most intimate, generous, and profoundly real things a person can do. (For example: To say that you gladly give your heart, your love, your dreams and future to another, without knowing what you might face in reply, is, from my perspective, the work of saints.) I also find it the most challenging thing for me to do.

I'm working on it though. I'm working on feeling the real things in life instead of placing a tourniquet around my heart and heading {no pun intended} for my intellect. I'm working on not being afraid of people really seeing me, or speaking of me, of knowing me better than the myopic, stunted, ancient vision I have of myself. I'm working on recognizing the image in the mirror and attaching affection to it. I'm working on being open, undeterred by preconceived notions, and willing to face rejection without it setting me back ten paces. Mostly I'm working on, beyond all distractions, just being.

The photography helps. I once heard someone say that making art is in itself all about being in the present. Isn't that so true? When I'm in that place where I can receptive to the muse, to the coalescence of beauty in space and time, I'm never more present than then. To frame a shot, to see with aesthetics in mind, to be connected to the subtle unconscious workings of mind and spirit that know where to turn, what to notice, when it is that decisive moment.... it's all about being in the here and now. When I'm not there, I'm fooling myself, playing at this thing called being an artist. And so, maybe, not being in the here and now in life is also fooling myself and playing at being alive, instead of really living.

Timshel

2011-03-04T17:59:00.001-08:00

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And you are the mother
The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

But I will tell the night
And Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can move the mountains for you

Hear it here

dear husband

2011-02-21T21:20:00.001-08:00

In this world

I am safe to grow

to take tentative tumbles

to reach for you

to be foolish

to begin again

to feel

love

to love

you

because

of

you.

all because of you.

Grateful am I

2011-02-21T08:28:00.001-08:00

Thank you sun, for coming out to play lately. Though you are not always my best friend, I have missed you.

Here they come

2011-02-21T00:33:00.001-08:00

Beyond the slick coolness of glass

a dream dreamed her.

Waiting,

always waiting at the window,

for something,

some bird or beast, to become her

so that she might actually

begin.

what I see

2011-02-20T09:31:00.001-08:00

Out across an empty field I seek you out,

long for your embrace,

the embrace of perfect love and unwavering trust.

In a moment I have it, and then you are gone,

vanished like a handful of pebbles flung at the sea,

dissolved into the great abstraction that is

love.

V day

2011-02-16T16:55:00.001-08:00

Happy Belated Love Day!! I hope everyone felt all warm and fuzzy on this day for celebrating love.

This is really the first year my son has been fully aware of holidays and able to anticipate them, which means they have been a whole lotta fun for Mommy.

(Top Left) For our house we made a heart garland of fabric from my stash. We used wonder under to adhere the hearts together and each has a different print on each side. And since Mommy is not a big fan of pink, red or even purple, we went with orange, yellow, green and blue. It's been a nice color pick-me-up for these mid winter glummy days too. The best part... We didn't spend a penny to make it. We had all the stuff already taking up room in my studio.

(Top Middle and Bottom Right) For the boy's class we made heart shaped sun catchers by melting shaved crayon between wax paper, added a string and suction cup, and bagged it all up together. I like to give things that can be used as opposed to a card that might go directly into the recycle bin. Plus, making something is so much more fun and educational. All I had to buy for this was the wax paper and suction cups.

(Bottom Left) My husband and I decided on a $20 limit for our gifts for each other. Up until the last minuet I wasn't sure what I would get him, but I knew it would come to me. This is a "statement of love" board. I painted the word "Love" on a small chalk board I had and wrote the rest with chalk. It says "I love you something fierce." We'll hang it up on the wall where we can change the message from time to time reflecting our current outlook on love for each other, for our family, or for our relationship. I'm so excited to see how it will change over time. The absolutely best part of this was, I spent $0. I had all the supplies I needed already!!

(Top Right) While cooking dinner Valentines night I got the kitchen all steamy (from cooking spaghetti - not glamourous by most standards but anytime I cook dinner feels like a special occasion) and I started drawing hearts all over the windows. It's the kid in me that won't be denied.

XOXOXO to you all.

Art House Co-op Sketchbook Project

2011-01-19T15:05:00.001-08:00

Some months back I signed up for Arthouse Co-op's Sketchbook Project. I had grand fantasies of profound works of art gently tucked among simple pages of a mole skin journal. I like to think of them as delusions of grandeure, which seems particularly accurate. I do that a lot. I expect too much of myself without having any kind of clear plan. Then I get intimidated, and don't know where to start.

This time I saw that process begin fairly quickly and then shut it down, saying to myself... "Just start, go, and see what happens." And that's what I did.

"I'm so literal I fear this book will be about streets…and looking down them…and who "you" might be. It's a place to start I suppose. It's a delicate balance between listening to your & challenging yourself. "

For quite a few pages I just did whatever came to mind. Most of it was centered around the process of buying and moving into this new (old) house (the house of my dreams really). My whole world was about that then.

"Down your street live dreams of youth and adulthood, of moments to contemplate, of lazy summer days, of slow moving breezes, and all kinds of wonders made of wood.

I have dreams too. They are new but began years ago. I never knew it was okay to dream. I've learned since then. Now I dream in vivid imagery. "

A fabric sketch. I did this quick, with glue, and no sewing. I'd like to play with fabric collage in the future. It's on my creative life list.

Then I started playing with line. Many of these were done in other sketch pads/books because I was more relaxed working in those. The pressure to do something great in the Sketchbook Project book was too much and it undermined my confidence and ability to relax into an idea.

These seed shapes are ones I saw first from Arounna of bookhou at home. I'm completely obsessed with them and have been drawing them everywhere.

Home grown from seeds of love and creativity

Then I began to think of home as greater than my new house. I was thinking of place and the environment around me, of my love of the Seattle climate, my love of water and what it means to this place.

I had a lot of fun with the clouds and rain. I did some more once I was done with this sketchbook that were a little different. Maybe I'll share those too sometime.

This whole experience was a pretty good one, self imposed pressure aside. I'm actually most impressed that I finished it and sent it in on time. Look at me, I'm a big girl now.

disolve

2011-01-05T19:45:00.001-08:00

"The ground we walk on, the plants and creatures, the clouds above constantly dissolving into new formations - each gift of nature possessing its own radiant energy, bound together by cosmic harmony."

Ruth Bernhard - Photographer

New Moment Group

2011-01-05T18:38:00.001-08:00

The new moment group is up and running on Flickr.

It's been beautifully and aptly named by Cory:

a life in moments

(This photo has little to do with anything except that I just feel weird posting info without some visual accompaniment.)

Moment One 8am Jan 2, 2011

2011-01-03T17:56:00.001-08:00

I haven't been up early in a while what with the mammoth cold and the insomnia that usually comes with illness for me. I know, I know, 8 aint early to most. But when you routinely nod off at 3am, it tis!!

It was clear beautiful day with crisp frost visible as a thin layer on everything. The sun rose through a window to the right of the scene pictured and I loved the way it made the curtains and window glow. My enthusiasm for photography coming back to me, I felt compelled to hunt down my camera. Snapping away I noticed my son set aglow by the morning warmth meeting him and I knew he had to be part of the scene... that without him and his perfect little boy smile, while watching cartoons, there was light but no life, warmth but no fire, peace but no bliss, love but with less passion.

So in love with my little guy this week.

PS Got some kick ass antibiotics today for my ear infection. I should be back to raising hell in no time. (Pffftt. All talk, I am)

moment project faqs

2011-01-03T14:47:00.001-08:00

A few questions have arisen about the new moment project so I thought I'd address those quickly.

* I am considering this the first week of January. We'll count Sunday as the first day of the week and Saturday as the last. So the second week will begin on Jan 9th.

* I'm planning to open a new flickr group so we can all have a fresh start. I'm hoping to do that this week but I've been sick for a while and just got antibiotics for an ear infection today, so it may take me a few days.
* You can post your "moment" photos anywhere you like (on flickr, on your blog, etc.) After the group is set up feel free to display them there as well.

Keep the questions coming if you have them. Don't be shy. You can post them here, or flickr mail me. I'm planning on this being even more casual than the last moment project so there aren't a lot of rules, just shared moments, shared photos, shared experiences. Have fun!!!!

counterpoint

2011-01-01T19:00:00.001-08:00

In absolute counterpoint to "ventapalooza", I have to say how strangely, surprisingly, lovely my boy can be.

I've been sick, really sick, for three weeks now. My sanity has had it's doubtful moments for sure, but all in all, it's been okay. And that is because of the people who have been around me. For example, my mom was here for Xmas and she dug right in to help with meals, playing with my son, and anything else that needed to be done. (More about that in another post soon, I hope). My husband has been usually well through most of this which has made things even easier and he is just the sweetest guy about doing things for me and picking up the slack in general. (Thank you so much baby!)

My son, above all, has absolutely bowled me over. All of the sudden I'm seeing this nurturing side of him I'd always suspected was in his DNA but had yet to see applied to anything in the adult world. (He's always been very kind and gentle with babies, and with dolls in play) In the last few weeks, on a daily basis, he asks me if I'm okay, and how am I doing. He strokes my face, pets my hair, checks my forehead for a fever, and tells me everything is okay because he is here.

If it didn't make me so darn happy I'd cry.

It's so easy to get tunnel vision in my world. When he is being challenging and I'm loosing my patience more often that I would ever want to, it feels as though it has always been this way and always will be. But that great pendulum comes swinging back and the cycles that breathe life into the world, and extinguish it, are ever present. It's a lesson in enduring and in basking in the warm glow of what is good. It's being awake and alive. It's being grateful for what is and rolling with the unexpected. It's many of the lessons life has been teaching me this year (2010), and I have been reaching to learn.

Thank you my son, for showing me, in living color, what I've longed to see. Thank you for reminding me of who I want to be and how I want to live. The gift of you goes on and on.

another moment

2010-12-28T16:39:00.001-08:00

Ebb and flow is a common theme around these parts but its one that tends to grab and hold my attention. Maybe it has something to do with my elemental affinity with water. Maybe it's not all that unusual for the wakeful living individual to notice cycles. I often find I must notice them, and speak/write/or ponder them. At the center of ebb and flow is balance - that ever illusive mistress.

The moment project that my dear friend Cory and I started a couple of years back ended (for me) about a year ago. At the end I was overwhelmed and burned out on the project, and in my life. I needed to retreat. Now, with things feeling calmer in my life, more stable and rhythmic, I find I'm looking for a little more flow when it comes to connecting with other artists and photographers. And I'm need a lot more flow in connecting with my camera, my photographer self.

That being the case, I decided to do another moment project with a bit of a different spin. Each week, in the coming new year, I will shoot a photo of what I'm doing, or where I am, or what I'm thinking, etc. The first week I will shoot at 8:00 am, on any day I choose. In the second week I will shoot at 8:15am, on any day I choose. And so on.

My first hope is to make it to 52 weeks, shooting through 13 hours of the clock, from 8am to 9pm, in 15 minuet weekly increments.

My second hope would be that others would join me (in a flickr group and/or a joint blog) just as before, to amass a portrait of our lives, through the hours of the clock, 15 minuets at a time.

I will share my journey here for now. If anyone is interested in joining me feel free to leave me a message here or flickr message me. The adventure begins On the first of January 2011. =0)

Happy Holidays from BAC

2010-12-28T11:45:00.001-08:00

"Wishing you the grace, joy and serenity of simplicity this holiday season. much love, The Haynes Family"

I handmade our Xmas cards this year. I'd send one to all of you if I could. The next best thing? I sent it here for you to see.

It's a little (read: a lot!!) late due to tiny germ visitors in my respiratory system. But, it's no less heart felt and no less applicable. I wish you peace. Always.

ventapaloozza

2010-12-05T15:28:00.001-08:00

Been thinking about parenting a lot today. You know when you get to that point where the things you've done before, that worked so well in the past, no longer seem to be getting the job done? That's where I am. And, although it may sound extreme (cause really I'm pretty extreme with myself), I begin to feel like the biggest parenting failure when I get to this place. Not just a failure but a fool, an idiot. I begin to image that all the virtues I'd seen in my child were fiction and that my own parenting inadequacies are to blame.

It's all pretty ridiculous, I know. Hmmm. Wonder where my kid get's his flair for drama?

I love this person so much that sometimes I ache from it. Other days I wonder how I managed to fail to raise a child who could be the least bit considerate of others, particularly me.

Then I think of all the other introverted parents out there raising extroverted children (like my husband and I) and I know that 1. I'm not alone, and 2. It's not my imagination that this set up is hard. It is really, truly, stinkin, hard sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Calendar anyone?

2010-12-03T10:49:00.001-08:00

I started working on this project months ago. A few little things popped up in my life (like buying a house, moving & a new career) that distracted me.

I haven't finished all the months yet, but I hope to in the near future. I was planning to print them for my own use but it occurred to me that maybe others might like to have some of them too.

Im going to look into converting the pages into pdf format and offering them here for download. They'd be small enough to print on a home printer. I'm just wondering though, if the effort would be worth it. Would anyone out there be interested in downloading these for personal use?

p

2010-12-03T10:03:00.001-08:00

The poetry of the earth is never dead. John Keats

denial

2010-12-01T17:17:00.001-08:00

For some odd reason I kind of love the lessons that I have to keep on learning. They feel like old friends. Or maybe they feel more like a religion I keep reaffirming because they are truths I keep coming to again and again. They are truths, rock strong and fundamental but tend to drift and dissolve in my awareness, such is my ability to focus.

Before the big move to Seattle, I was getting very interested in still life photography. It had to be put on hold for a while but when I was able to get back to it I didn't. Call it momentum, inertia, or an uncanny ability to deny myself what makes me happy without realizing it. But, with the unwinding of this new real estate photography venture, I began to realize that I have many dreams associated with being a photographer that I keep safely tucked below the surface. One of those was to do some real estate or interior design photography. Another is experience with still life photography.

Such denial has tied me in knots. If at every jump in my heart rate (brought on by visions of beautiful objects arranged in beautiful ways lit with beautiful light and captured forever in a photo) is stifled, swallowed, pushed way down, ignored, denied, betrayed and abused, how in the world can I trust myself or expect myself to be able to find my heart's desire when it comes to making art? It's a pretty simple question; a no-duh kind of revelation. I cannot.

Denial may be good for the soul in some religious traditions, but at the alter of beauty and art, denying one's particular path to creative nirvana means no nirvana at all. Or so I have learned (again and again and again) is true for me.

winter

2010-11-27T08:50:00.001-08:00

We're not quite there yet, but I've seen, felt and been actually present for the majesty of winter more this fall than I have in a long long time. It all goes by me so swiftly, like on the current of a spring swollen river. I want to hold on for dear life, want to find the breaks. I want to slow down.

"I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show." ~Andrew Wyeth

Pieces

2010-11-22T20:35:00.001-08:00

Some more little pieces of dreams come true.

Today, we had a snow day. It wasn't my first snow. It wasn't even the boy's first snow. But, it was the first snow since we've been firmly planted in our snug little home. It was the first snow that the boy anticipated. It was the first snow that kept us home from school and begged us to come outside and stomp around in it.

It was a tiny little piece of the big picture that is making my life feel finally full, calm, happy and right.

Lovely News

2010-11-07T04:58:00.001-08:00

It's 4:24am. I am more than merely awake. I am wide awake. What better time to catch up on long neglected blogging.

So much has been happening that I've felt I've been flying by the seat of my pants. Usually that feeling is not welcomed but this time it has been in a very very good way, a way that is so foreign to me in it's goodness as well as in my ability to accept and welcome it.

First, we have finally put down some deep roots here in the land of my dreams. We closed on our new (1906) house over a week ago and move in next week. It's a beautiful home. It has so much of the authenticity I've wanted for a very long time. It has a soul that exists in floor boards that have been walked, nicked, and cleansed for over a hundred years. Yet, it has been lovingly brought up to date with new wiring, plumbing, and heating, as well as many cosmetic and slightly deeper improvements. And, much is left to do which is perfect for me. I want something to mold into my own. But doing it all up front is not in the cards for us. It's a beautiful place to dwell while we all evolve together. Another dream come true.

I started a little blog about the new house for extended family who live out of state. As word spread to friends and even more extended family demand for information and pictures persuaded to make that blog public. I don't know how much will be happening over there, but I thought I'd invite you over for a little looksy. In case you're curious. It's called wood and light.

The other insane, almost cannot believe it, thing that has been happening is that our realtor has been hiring me to shoot photos for properties he represents. Other than having a handful of my photos bought on Etsy, this is the first time I've been paid for my photography. It's been very exciting. As the housing market continues to be predictably uncertain, it's unknown what this path will bring. I think I like it that way. If I knew too much about potential success I'm facing I'd probably find a way to muck it up. So far, I'm having fun and learning a lot. Plus, working for our realtor is such a dream. He's the nicest, most sincere person I've ever met who also happens to work (live and breathe) in sales. He was an amazingly good fit as our relator, and really a wonderful person to work for. Ain't I lucky?

A few photos from the first house I shot:

snuck up on me

2010-10-16T22:47:00.001-07:00

I was working on this last image for a few days (I like to walk away for a while and come back with fresh eyes) and was about done when I decided to try a gray boarder. I had forgotten, however, to "trim" the excess imagery that was outside the frame first. When I added the boarder I saw all the scraps left behind and fell head over heals with the look. I'm gunna call it muse guided accidental color blocking. Or, MGACB for short. I'm sure the terminology will catch on right quick. =0P

Many Many thanks to Le Brumes for the use of two of her amazing textured layers. You inspire me endlessly.

stuck

2010-10-13T19:00:00.001-07:00

I've been in one form or another of stuckness with my work for a while now. Maybe I'm imagining that I once felt like superwoman, brimming with pride and an otherworldly sense of ability. Yeah, that sounds like something I made up. It's hard to believe I was ever that full of myself. Oh... oh... maybe it's just that I use to enjoy my work more. That could be it... hmmm.

but I digress.... I've been trying to come up with ways to redefine myself as an artist. It's my latest attempt at a shot in the arm to my confidence (or my enjoyment). One such thought was to do more digital art and less pure photography. If my camera and I are not in sync, then maybe we should see other people for a time. It could date my phone for a while, and I'm inclined to take a turn on the dance floor with my new apple computer and my updated Adobe Creative Suite. (We're catching up around here from the year and a half with no disposable income).

These two are the first in my effort to focus more on digital art. I seem to wander strongly toward dark tones lately. I tried to lighten things up with the crabby one up top, but it still seems to feel rather dark. Oh well. I follow where the muse leads.

ant eye view

2010-10-13T17:53:00.001-07:00

My mom was an art major in college. She was a painter and she was good. One of the assignments she used to talk about was all about drawing something as though she were an ant crawling on it. It was about texture and feeling or seeing texture from that perspective. I'd pay good money to see what the students, a bunch art majors in the 1960's, came up with. Wouldn't you?

That story has been floating in my subconscious for many years until one day, camera in hand, it bubbled to the surface and I lowered my camera to the ground. It was pure joy to look at my backyard from the perspective of a small insect, and it made me more appreciative of how much bigger the world can seem to wee ones, including humans. It's a great perspective to gain, both literally and philosophically.

Promise me that if you give it a whirl, you'll send me a link to your results. I'd love to see your world from an ant's eye view.

wood toys

2010-10-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a little looking around for Xmas gifts for the boy and came across several very lovely things on Etsy. So, I thought I'd share. (I think I might actually be in love with that table and chairs!!)

By Muddy Feet

By palumba

By WoodToyShop

By stumppondtoy

By justhatched

2 x 2

2010-10-07T20:00:00.001-07:00

I haven't been shooting much lately. I'm not sure why, but it's pushed me to look back at my engorged stock of unexplored photos. Maybe that's why I've stopped shooting. Maybe I've taken pictures of everything imaginable and my brain said, "Okay, I'm done." Knock on wood that's not the case, cause if you stop dreamin' you're only sleepin'.

These two photos are actually recent though. The one on the left is wall paper from a closet in an old house we viewed as part of our real estate search. I could have spent hours in that house snapping away. The photo on the right is from my own backyard. The funny thing about Seattle is that in early fall things begin to look like spring again. The rains start up again and the sun is less harsh, less constant, and everything greens up again. Our lawn is like a wild grass jungle.

happy new home

2010-09-05T16:36:00.001-07:00

A really great couple we know has just bought their first home. It's been a long journey for them, including some pretty nasty landlords, several moves around the continental U.S. chasing jobs and graduate schools, and an escrow that fell through due to owners who's last name has become a curse word in their household. I'm very fond of these folks and I'm so happy to see them settled and in possession of their very own home. To express my congratulations I made them a card.

I'm not sure there are many more gratifying ways to express one's genuine feelings for another than to make them something, with my own hands, mind and heart. I feel grateful to have so many folks in my life that inspire the gift of giving from my own hands.

land loving things

2010-08-23T00:03:00.000-07:00

“Something I’d like to point out is how important it is for any artist, designer, photographer, writer to find our own voice, our own way of doing things, to find ourselves in our work. It is difficult to focus on what we want to do when out there is a vast ocean of inspiration, and I enjoy watching other artists’ work too, but I think it is very important to stop looking outside and start searching inside when it comes to creating our work. I believe this is priority, it’s a way of respecting others as well as respecting ourselves.”
Romina Bacci via pia jane bijkerk

This post has me thinking a lot about who I am as an artist. Truth is, I haven't a clue really. I feel like I've been treading water for the years it's been now since I donned the title. Thats a bad habit of mine. Waiting.

Seems I use to think I was pretty deep. I suppose that's a common dilution of youth. Or, maybe it's a common reality. Maybe we are all abysses as young adults. It's just that when we come up for air we tend to linger near the surface, so intoxicating is the allure of all those shiny land loving things, like careers, marriage, babies.

I'd not mistake myself for much of a spelunker now. I'm thoughtful, sure. But I don't know that I'm all that profound. I"m certainly no the dare devil, carefully trained, out for pirates treasure kind of diver I'd have to be to be a serious artist. I'd like to be. Then again, diving those depths could drive a mind to liquid instead of the thicker matter we usually count on.

There's been so much healing and acclimating to "normalcy" since I met my husband that embracing my more eccentric side has seemed, well, counterproductive. But I miss it too... or I miss the idea, the fantastical idea, that I was ever able to dive in waters that scare the hell out of me, that were heavily infested with the most painful of jellyfish stings, that were so dark that not only were you in danger of loosing your way, but your mind as well.

I don't often connect what is deeply personal to me with my work. I've tried. I can't, it seems.

Without that I can make pretty pictures, but I can't make images of what lay deep in the sea.

Additional Thought: But I will die trying.

sometimes...

2010-08-17T20:16:00.001-07:00

the world makes me cry... in a good way.

Love this

2010-08-17T19:31:00.001-07:00

via: we see it. we like it.

Color

2010-08-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ever since I became aware of Color Collective (the blog that explores color by pulling out samples from photographs of well designed spaces, clothes, etc) via Design Sponge, I've been a little preoccupied with thoughts of color. Not only is Color Collective a brilliant idea for a blog, but it has me thinking a lot about the treasure of color in photographs hidden in plain sight.

The above photos are taken directly from Color Collective and do not belong to me.

A while back I remember thinking how surprising it is sometimes to sample color from a photograph I'm working on in Photoshop and realize, once I've isolated it, that it's not the color I thought it would be. So much about a photograph informs us about the colors we see in it other than the visual information available. Conceptually our interpretation of color is greatly influenced by the objects in photo and our expectations of what colors those objects are likely to be. Sometimes the time of day the photo was taken, or it's location, or even a idiosyncratic association we might have with it's subject can all influence what we think we are seeing. On top of all of this conceptual complexity, visually we can be misled by tones and hues in the rest of the photo which can make a single color seem more warm or cool, more muddy or more clear.

The following experiment helps to illustrate my point. I chose three points on the photo below as my focus. First, I estimated the color I thought was represented in each spot based solely on my naked eye and conceptual perceptions. Then, I used my eye dropper tool in Photoshop to take a sampling of the actual color in each of those spots. The result was a classic example of how our minds can skew the reality of what they eye sees.

The colors I thought I was seeing were cleaner, clearer and more befitting the subject matter. The red in the crab was a truer red in my mind, but ended up with a decidedly plum hue. I was way off on the dark shadow color, thinking it was more blue than violet. And the yellow in crabby's claw I would have bet money was a much buttery, cleaner hue. And I was the one to edit this photo!! I know where my lines tend to swerve in curves, which hues call to over and over again. But, to my mind, crab red is red, not plum. Shadows are cold and bluish. Yellow, compared with the rest of the colors in this palette just felt so much warmer than what it really was.

Such is the fascination I've had with color lately. I find myself sampling from photos at random, just to see what I'll get. Below is the result of just such activity. It was pretty fun to pull out the colors that I particularly liked or ones that surprised me. It even lends something to the photos in a way too. Sort of a deconstruction and reconstruction at the same time.

Recovery

2010-08-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's funny how a thing can be impacting you, changing what you do, what you think, how you feel, and you can not know it until much later, when the dust has settled, and the tallying of consiquences has begun.

When my husband lost his job in 2008, it felt like instant freedom. Sure there was a bit of fear up front, but really we were focused on the opportunities layed before us (such as more time together, more daddying time for him, more daddy time for the boy, some freedom from full time parenting for me, and most of all, the move from San Diego to Seattle).

As the months dragged on, real fear set in. I retreated. I hunkered down. It's what I do, it's how I cope, it's where I go. 20 months later a job had been secured and employment is appreciated around these parts like never before.

Slowly I'm emerging from hybernation and begining to realize the toll my hiding has taken. In blogdum in particular the impact has been sever. First I stopped commenting on the blogs I love. Then I stopped reading them, unable to sit still long enough, unable to let beauty and sharing in. Then I stopped writing. And finally, I stop taking pictures. That was the death of me in many ways.

Now, I'm searching to find myself again, and to find you, to find connection, art, beauty, love, friendship. It's all so easily lost for me, so easily swept away from a hardened heart. Calluses form thick on that organ on my sleeve. I cannot go back, only forward, only to what is new and ever changing.

I've added a new list of blogs to the right. It's called "Friends of BAC" and it's something I've been meaning to do for, well, years now. (Wow, years!) It's a list of blogs that are supportive of BAC as an entity in that they either comment on this blog a lot, list BAC in their blog rolls, or feature something about BAC in a post. The list I had amassed used to be much longer. The decrease is collaterol damage from my dissapearing act. I can only really hope to become a presence in other's lives again-and them in mine. Well, hope, and I can work really really hard at it. I think I'll focus on the latter.

I've missed you blogging friends. I'm so glad to be finding my way back.

A blogging friend at the Giraffe Tree Head has her head and heart heavy with concern for her husband who was injured recently. If you are so inclined, a happy thought, a prayer, even a visit to herblog with some kind words left behind would be surely welcomed.

Sunday (last week)

2010-08-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

It was low tide in the morning and we went exploring with some good friends. It was misty the entire time but we had two trains (much to the boy's gratification), and several starfish as well as some crab education from "Beach Naturalists" roaming the sands. Later, brunch, goooooood coffee, and even later, homade pizza and a kid flick topped off a very lovely day.

So Green

2010-08-14T19:36:00.001-07:00

I'm kind of embarrassed right now. I've just gotten a new desk top computer (I was working on a lap top for close to 4.5 years), the computer of my dreams really, a mac. I knew the laptop was probably distorting what I was seeing somewhat compared with what the rest of the world was seeing of my work. Boy was I right. Assuming that I am now seeing what most of the rest of you see, I can say with full confidence, my photos were not meant to be so consistently and so blatantly GREEN. They were meant to have yellow mid tones and some bluish dark tones, which often led to an overall green feel, but not quite as smack you in the face green.

The drama queen adolescent in me wants to clear out my flickr stream, delete my blog, comb the internet for any representation of my work and nuke it from space... and then, start over. I wont however. The much more mellow, practical, and ultimately much more tired adult in me is just gonna let it go.

Chalk it up to another life lesson, and forge on. Besides, it's an opportunity to show you something "new" in my work, since none of it looks like it was suppose to up to now.

edit: fyi I adjusted the banner above and my buttons for etsy and flickr on the right in an effort to de-greenify them. They sure look a lot better to me.

second edit: Can I just say that learning a new platform (going from Windows to Mac OS) is a little like going from a bike with training wheels to a two-wheeler. My brain hurts and my eyes are about to go on vacation. I just keep chanting, "it will be worth it". In truth, it already is but I can't possibly pass up an opportunity to complain.

bac colors

2010-08-05T19:00:00.001-07:00

I was doing some brain storming today about BAC as a presence in the world and what I could do, if I wanted to pursue it, to make it more recognizable and distinctive as a unique entity. Mind you I was only day dreaming and thinking what if… One of the limbs of thought that branched out from that initial question was about BAC’s color palette. If I were to rebuild an Etsy shop, or some other online venue for selling BAC works, what would it look like? What colors would I see?

I used BIG HUGE LAB’s Color Palette Generator toy to create some color palettes from photographs that feel particularly BAC to me. Then I combined them in Photoshop to create an overall palette.

I’m quite happy with how it came out. What do you think? If, for some inconceivable reason, you ever had occasion to develop a sense for what BAC might look like as a color palette, would this one come close?

Echo Images

2010-08-02T09:56:00.001-07:00

I have been meaning to share a special something with you for some time. Several months ago, a new picture library called Echo Images approached me about including my work on their site. They are based in the UK and hope to service mostly book publishers who are looking for images for book covers and such.

I can’t tell you how excited I was to get that email. While I’ve had no bites from buyers that I’m aware of, it is still a huge boost to my self confidence that the site sought me out… and that I have been included amongst so many other fine photographers and artists.

Go take a look. If nothing else, it’s a great place to discovers some artists you’ve never seen before.

creatively schizophrenic

2010-07-27T00:25:00.001-07:00

I once attended a talk given by a gallery owner for the benefit of young or undiscovered painters who were looking for some insight into how galleries and artists become aware of each other, and how they forge relationships. One of the most striking warnings he gave was against creative or artistic schizophrenia (i.e. the delving into multiple media or multiple styles in your work.) Barring an ability to refrain from this crime of split personality, he suggested a more formal separation of the many faces of eve in the form of multiple representation by multiple galleries who each would own a particular personality.

I was immediately claustrophobic. From a business standpoint I understood his perspective. A gallery wants to know what to expect from their artists. They want some predictability when investing in one’s work, and some security in staking their reputation on that artist’s output. Likewise, galleries want to be able to provide buyers a consistent body of work over the long haul.

I get it. But hell if I can get comfortable with it.

I am highly, creatively schizophrenic. I started out a painter. I’m now a photographer. But I love, and have an interest in, illustration, fabric / textile / fiber, paper, printing, collage, book making, and even some three dimensional media such as instillation and sculpture. These passions weave in and out of my gray matter with little predictability. I can be obsessed with photography for years, then slowly feel that fire cooling while I find I’m driven to distraction over fabric or paper.

Currently, and for a while now, I’m experiencing a dry spell when it comes to photography. I’ve taken less than half the number of photographs that I did by this time last year, and even fewer compared with 2008. I’m out of ideas for now.

But, lately I can think of little else than working with fabric. I have a ton of it. I bought it over the years, convinced I’d be a quilter like my mom and my mother-in-law. (As it turned out it wasn’t instantly gratifying enough for me at the time.) Most of the fabric I have is outdated per my taste, so I’ve been looking for ways to use it in large pieces and quantities, to make something useful and as a way to practice. This weekend I ordered myself a sewing machine (a task put off for almost two years by the great layoff). I’m so excited to get to finally play around with fabric again that I’ve been drenching myself in patchwork images, blogs, and talk.

I’ve become so desperate, in fact, that I began to toy with the idea of photo collage arranged in such a way as to emulate a quilt. The above photo is the first stab at it. I rather like my first block. I’m hoping to do more.

As for warnings about being certifiably, creatively indecisive… I’ve decided to treat them as I do almost every other “rule” about making art… Them rules are meant to be broken.

following this post will be some mini posts via flickr of some quilts that have me positively drooling. it seems almost wrong that such inspiration is free.

fear

2010-06-30T23:37:00.001-07:00

I like having a vagina. (I know, I know, I’m not suppose to say such a thing, and certainly not name the thing so obtusely. I love the fact that we’ve all become so comfortable with with the penis. Viagra and Erectile Dysfunction make us blush no longer. I’m thinking it’s about time for the vagina. After all, to so many, it’s just such a lovely place to be.) I like the softness of my womanly body, for the most part. I like that being female allows for so many opportunities to be sensitive and strong, pensive and exuberant, flirty and serious. I like that we have the freedom to express and experience the full range of human emotion. I like being a girl. I like being a woman.

What I do not like, however, is the fear very few men can ever understand that overtakes a woman who is alone in a place she does not feel safe. What I loath about being a woman in this world is knowing exactly how vulnerable I am to even the thought of being victimized by a stronger, faster, more vicious human being.

Last night, my Photography class was meeting up at the famous downtown Seattle’s Pike’s Place Market.

Now, I grew up in L.A., and not the Beverly Hills side of the tracks either. I know what a sketchy neighborhood looks like. I know what men up to no good look like. Seattle is sincerely a kiddy pool compared to where I went to high school. But even in a kiddy pool, women are vulnerable to drowning.

No harm came to me last night. I was never even touched casually by anyone that I can remember. No one yelled profanities at me, threw anything at me, or even leered at me. But the potential for so much more was there, and I hate that I felt it necessary to give in to the fear.

I parked in a public lot. A man, who exuded gentle authority, claimed to be watching cars for tips, as there had apparently been problems in the lot recently. I was sick, exhausted, and worried about getting to my class. I took him at face value and assumed he was employed by someone associated with the lot. I gave him $4. It slowly became clear to me, while I was paying for my spot at a machine and he stood close by asking me for another $20 for rent, that he was not. He knew he was distracting me from interacting with the machine so he stepped away to give me a moment to think. In that moment I made my decision. Although he’d done absolutely nothing threatening, I was going to give him the money, just in case he had a mind to mess with me or my car.

As I left him and walked down the street toward my destination I became furious. First I was mad at myself for being so easily intimidated. Quickly I realized the fault did not lay on me, but on him, on centuries of political and cultural history, and on sheer physiology.

I have no inspiring conclusion, no warm wrap up. I’m still stunned I suppose. I’m still outraged by the fear inherent in the possibilities that lay out there, on the street, for all us who are female.

I still like my vagina.

And, I fucking HATE being afraid.

the sigh heard ‘round the world

2010-05-04T01:37:00.001-07:00

Almost a week ago my husband and I were up against the clock to make one of the biggest decisions we’ve faced together. It’s enormity lay not so much in the emotional and spiritual significance (such as the decision to marry or bring children into the world would have) but in the relentless suspension leading up to it and the decidedly differing needs met by opposing choices. In plain English, after 20 months with no employment in our household, my husband was offered a job here in Seattle, where I desperately want to live, and one in Delaware, for a company and a wage that was very attractive to him. It was really the first time we’d found ourselves on opposing sides of a decision. Per usual for us, we both wanted everyone to be happy. But how?

(photo at right was taken in Pennsylvania on our trip out there. photo on the left taken in Washington just after we returned. For a while I felt I was straddling two world. It wasn’t good.)

For weeks we “tried on” living out east. We lived it in our minds, went through pros and cons, researched, even visited.

The morning of the day we were due to give the east coast job our answer we were still agonizing. I kept saying, “Let’s just go. It will be fine. We can come back here someday.” He almost let me make that decision, but I could see it wasn’t fitting for him, a square peg in a round hole. “So, let’s ‘try on’ staying here, with this Seattle job for a few hours and see how you feel. We’ve been doing it the other way around for weeks.”

He did. A few hours later, after pros on top of pros for staying here flew from his mouth, and a building of excitement in my heart, he said “I think we should stay.” And a weight visibly lifted from him. He smiled. He said, “Going east seemed the right thing to do, but this, this feels like the right thing.”

That sudden, eerie, gust of humid air you might have felt last Wednesday… that was me, exhaling for the first time in a long long while. Home. We are home, for good now. Planted, growing, moving forward. Aside the reports of my son’s good health after his premature birth, I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved in my life. I’m home, again, for good. Thank the universe for aligning. Thank the love and support given so freely by friends and family all this while. Thank you, anyone, everyone, everything, that wished us well. We are well now.

Awake & Alive

2010-04-23T00:36:00.001-07:00

We went to visit the east coast last week (Delaware, Pennsylvania, Maryland) for a potential job opportunity (more on that later). In my effort to be, in the least, awake through the evaluation of a new place to settle, I found myself noticing little things about my son that might have before only grazed my awareness as lulls between constant chatter and strong opinions.

One such moment occurred during a short stroll (one of his great loves is to “take a walk” or “walk around”), literally less than a block, from one antique store to another. There was this little path of winding pavers and newly blooming spring flowers. It was contrived and completely manicured but still sweet in it’s execution. I’d only begun to step toward a stone when suddenly energy gathered from just behind me and whooshed past me in a burst of uncontrolled giggles and spastic enthusiasm. Before I knew it, the boy was gone, down the path, hopping and staggering at full speed. In seconds flat, as he reached the end, he stopped and awaited my arrival.

I was stunned. He’d been grumpy. Travel is so hard on little attention spans. It’d been a long week. We were flying out late that day. I was on an emotional roller coaster all week. But he let it all go the moment he saw an enchanted path. It seemed to call to something so unbridled in him that he was completely unencumbered in that moment. Pure joy sprang from his hyena like gasps between blasts of laughter. It set my heart on fire and I grinned unchecked, uncontrolled, stupidly, gapingly, joyfully at the pure bliss he became.

It quickens my pulse even now to think of it.

Being awake and alive is such a challenge for me, but the mere mention of it here has helped cement my intention (at least) to lean toward it. It laid that groundwork, I believe, for my son’s joy to enliven me.

I feel eternally privileged.

awake and alive

2010-04-13T22:46:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, I have a day, an evening, even a moment when I feel awake and alive. It doesn’t happen all that often, far too infrequently in fact. I am very good at hiding myself away in my own mind. In some ways it’s my superpower. Unfortunately, a mechanism developed to protect oneself can become outdated, obsolete, even destructive – definitely destructive.

Awake and Alive, I am open, I absorb beauty like it should be, without bitterness and envy. I see art and I welcome it instead of having to fight my defenses against it. I live, simply, so many straight jackets stripped away. It happens in such small, ordinary ways. It happens when I open myself to people. That’s the solution, I keep learning over and over again. But it’s terrifying too. To think of it as putting my happiness in the hands of other’s reactions to me is terrifying. I know that’s an ass backwards way of looking at it and it’s wrong, but easily comes to mind.

I’d like to state that “Awake and Alive” is a new photography project I’m beginning. I’d like to say that because it’s certainly a life project… a project I’ve been working on for as long as I’ve had self awareness.. a project that is a matter of spiritual life and death. I’d like it to be a photography project too, but every time I state such a thing, it fizzles. It fades the instant I declare it. That self-defense again. Anything good and fulfilling is a danger to me because it can be soiled and ruined. Instead, I declare my intention to focus my creative eye on this elemental, imperative project.

Happy Day Little Man

2010-03-23T23:35:00.001-07:00

Four

How on Earth did we get here my love? How is it that you’ve grown so far, so wide, so deep, long, complex, active & serene in only four years?

Three

How is it that your baby time seems like a lifetime ago and yet yesterday?

Two

It’s the mystery of parenthood… one of the many, I suppose.

One

The questions are more poetic to ponder than any answers could ever be and I find I’m more grateful for the mysteries the more your life draws and and shapes itself in ways beyond my touch.

Weeks

I love you my boy. And, I'm eternally, profoundly, irrevocably proud of who you are.